Significance III

This is turning out to be a trilogy!

Just one more thing to say about significance.

What is significant is a matter of perspective. Just as the birth of Christ is the most significant event to us, it is but a nice holiday for others, a time to feel good, warm and fuzzy - peace on earth and goodwill to all men... A time for parties, revelry, Christmas trees and gifts. 

Nothing wrong with that. We should not be a party pooper. It just occurred to me that it might be significant for a particular group of non-believers, but for very different reasons. Christmas has become an industry, the most wonderful time of the year for some. It makes or breaks their business. How did it come to that? I guess at some time in the past when the Western world was still fairly religious and mainly Christian, the significance of Christmas shifted from faith to profit. from Christ to Santa. And no doubt there would have been defenders of that, who would argue that the two aren't mutually exclusive, that it is possible for both to be significant to them.

It is possible but challenging, for obvious reasons. The interesting corollary to that is whether the pursuit of money, and the rewards that money brings, contributed to the decline of faith in the West.  A question to mull over.

This wasn't really what I wanted to say about significance as I began writing. Sometimes though, maybe because of Him, ideas and words come to me and take me in a different direction. 

I had wanted to talk about small things. About things that do not assume significance at the time, but only in hindsight. Because we look at it then through a different lens, a different perspective. Why does this matter? Because our nature is to focus on the big events, the shiniest things, beauty... So they almost always assume a significance that is disproportionate in the grand scheme of things - from our perspective as believers.

And we then tend to overlook the small but significant things, because we are not wired that way. If we don't look for and recognise their significance, we become callous towards people, we take kindness for granted, we believe we are masters of our own destinies, that our successes are solely down to our own efforts. Though this has and likely will happen again, the good thing is that we can always look back and realise what we owe to God.

What are these small things? Well, yesterday something like that happened! I came across and shared a FB post with the following quote: "When people talk about travelling to the past, they worry about radically changing the present by doing something small, but barely anyone in the present really thinks that they can radically change the future by doing something small." Serendipitous?

There have been too many of these moments since I started looking back at my life through new lens for it to be serendipity. The lesson for me is to pay attention and hopefully I recognise them for what they are at the time. The corollary to this is to not get too down when things I think important do not pan out. When I think back to those events in my life that caused me a great deal of grief or anguish or whatever, they take on a new light. Disappointments that cut to the bone at the time feel as if they were a natural progression to who and where I am now, as a sort of growing pain I had to go through. Remember God is there for us always in all things great and small.

Significance part II

What I like about Timothy Keller is that he has managed to distill the essence of so many issues affecting us sinners, into a few simple truths.

I keep returning to the theme of his book Counterfeit Gods as it is such a powerful idea that captures much of our struggle against God, even when we have accepted Christ. We want  to build our own edifices to ourselves because we want people to notice. Even when doing God’s good work, it is a struggle to resist the urge to say, “Look at me! See how good a servant I am!!”

This is about wanting to feel significant, rather than about knowing what should be personally significant. The former focuses on the image one presents to the world or on one’s place in the world, whereas the latter concentrates on our personal relationship with God.

Our role models in serving, whether in church or outside of it, should be those who toil away quietly in the background, never seeking attention. This is not an indictment of higher office. People who hold leadership positions are just as important, and they may have been led by God to serve there as the best use of their talents. Which God provided.

My point about role models is about posture. What does it look like? I’ve described it above. For want of a better description, you could say in many cases it’s like being invisible. No one notices when you’re doing the work because you just focus on getting things done, and these are usually those unwanted bits of any job or task. Cleaning up, tidying up - of your own accord I might add;)

Or if you are in supervisory or leadership positions you do things that are needed even if they are unpopular, even if someone else reaps the recognition because success will come much later, or even if no one thinks it is important at the time - though if you’re a leader, part of your job is to convince them it is.

What should you feel when you have the right posture?

It always comes back to love. If we do it because we love others, because we know it’s unpleasant and others don’t like to do it, you’re probably on the right track. Or we do it because we know it needs to be done and we don’t wait for someone else to take up the slack. Love isn’t about doing things for people who love us. It’s about doing things for people because we love them.

Significance

A recent sermon in the week leading to Christmas made the connection between the story of Bethlehem and personal significance. I think. I am writing this from memory but I am fairly certain I have at least half of it right. Heh.

It was an interesting sermon because I think it touched on quite an important idea, but rather danced around it and missed the opportunity to really dive in. Our faith is personal, and not an academic study to be made with takeaways and three key bullet points. If there is only one important point, so be it. No need to try and squeeze three points out of it. Which is an observation by the way and not meant as criticism. The danger is that the real message is lost when there is too much focus on the presentation and the personal connection is lost or just skimmed over.

It's a bit of a stretch but I recall the point was that the birth of Christ in a humble manger should have been, by all normal accounts, totally insignificant when it was in fact, the most important/significant event in human history. And by extension His birth must be of great personal significance to us because of what it means, to each of us personally. Or something like that. Well if it wasn't, never mind because I have something of my own to say about personal significance.

There are two perspectives to be explored, one easy, the other, less so. The easy one about significance is how Christ helps us overcome death. The fear of death is a common one, at least at some stage of our lives. People spend inordinate amounts of efforts and expense to delay the effects of aging, to ensure good health, to postpone that day when we have to meet our Creator. When I was young, I had nightmares about falling into a deep black space, and used to wake up from the sheer terror of it. Then in the day I would be terrified by the thought of death, of not existing anymore. 

But eventually these fears went away. Not because I had found Christ. Not yet. I suppose at some point I realised that it served no purpose to dwell on it. People have come up with all kinds of rationalisation or coping strategies to remove the fear. Many are simply avoidance strategies. If you don't think about it, or trick yourself into thinking about it in a certain way, it ceases to be a problem.

However you cannot ignore the elephant in the room. Why am I here? What is the purpose of my life?

That's the second perspective. Our search for personal significance. We are made in His image, which is why we sense there is something missing when God is not part of our lives. We want our lives to mean something. Some people ask the question but find no answers and fall into despair. Others find solace in drugs and other forms of oblivion or distraction. Yet another common response is how people want to leave a legacy, something that stands the test of time, so that there's evidence that they once were, not just dust in the wind. The whole of Ecclesiastes is the go-to reference for this.

People create art, institutions, monuments etc. Some crave power, invade countries, abuse others. Both come from the same space of seeking personal significance. None of it really matters in the grand scheme of things. All things decay over time, or lose meaning or relevance or context (just think of the woke brigade and the revisionism going on in the world today). Achievements become insignificant, or at best, a footnote in history.

This isn't to say that the positive things that come from a search for personal significance by those who do not believe in God, are meaningless. Not totally anyway. Any one who does something to make life better for others is doing God's work by loving people. But it is a poor substitute for that person if he does not accept Christ. He is then missing out on the most personally significant perspective of Christ's life, death and resurrection.

Serendipity?

I am watching (well it's playing in the background) the movie Serendipity. And it reminded me about a Whatsapp text I sent to you guys recently about how I had resumed the Wesley Bible Reading Drive and the reflections for the reading that day. I will come back to this later.

The reading was Deuteronomy 6. I am reading it again, and verses 5-7 spoke to me. "Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. These commandments that I give you today are to be on your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up."

Mummy and I recently recounted how we dutifully sent you boys to Sunday school even when we weren't attending church. I guess it was all part of God's plans for you, and we were just the instruments. The verses reminded me of those days - though I cannot claim that they were on my mind then. And they are also a good reminder of our primary duties as parents.

Many parents want their kids to do well, to be better and more successful than they are. My parents never openly said it, but I knew they wanted me to go to university. (They weren't very educated themselves, though my father taught himself English - after he passed away, I found notebooks where he had written down English words he had looked up.) And the good thing was they never really pushed me into any particular area of study or work, for which I am very grateful. I found my own way in life, occasionally taking the scenic route, and looking back now I know God was watching over me.

That's not to say though that this is the only way to parent. Many kids do well when guided in a particular direction by their parents, though it is not always appreciated at the time, or later in life. Some become successful but are unhappy. No one can really tell how it will all turn out.

If that's so, what then is the primary duty of parents? It is those verses above. "Impress them on your children". Teach them to love God with all their hearts, all their souls and all their strengths. If parents show their love for God, and teach their kids well, they will also genuinely love God and love others. That is the real mark of success. Not their status.

And so, I am incredibly proud of you boys. Not because you are a lawyer, or church worker or scholar. I am proud of the wonderful servants of Christ you have become, far more than I have ever been. This is the real success story of my life and mummy's.

But back to the theme of Serendipity. The movie is one of those romantic comedies about fate, about pre-destination. And the premise is really silly but you cannot help but be drawn in by the storyline and the reason is clear. We all yearn for a deep spiritual connection - without God, we try to find it in the idea of a soul mate, of someone out there who is made for us. The movie circles around the principal idea and goes through a formulaic plot about coincidences, missed opportunities etc. But it never once asks the most important question. So what is this mysterious force called destiny and how does it work? What's behind it? But Hollywood isn't going to spoil a romantic comedy with these questions haha...

So when I texted you guys about how I restarted the bible reading drive, and read that particular day's reflections, my initial reaction was "What a wonderful coincidence this is!" The writer talked about his daughters who live overseas and how they videochat and once a month he asks them what they would like prayers for. This was his way of telling his daughters of how "God is wonderfully active in my life".

A timely reminder. I had also started this blog for the same reason but had lapsed into silence for a while. So it is not a coincidence. God has worked in my life in many small ways that is easy to overlook if I am not paying attention. And that is the subject for a blog another day.

So I hope you read this and tell me what you need prayers for whenever. God bless.

A go to reference for daily life

Galatians 5 has a wonderful resonance, especially verse 22 which is one of the most often referenced. It is often seen in a positive light, that we are (or should be) full of joy and such though it is probably safe to say most of us aren’t quite there yet. The fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Why then are we often not joyful, why do we not love (everyone), why do we lose our temper, why do we not have peace?

When we feel that way, does it mean the Spirit is not with us? No. It means we are human, we are sinners. We have faith, and sometimes we have doubts. We love and sometimes we don't because the other person is not worthy of our love. We are sometimes unkind for the same reason. We have double standards. We forgive ourselves but not others.

I just had a conversation recently with someone and said one of the problems many people are dealing with today is that society has become too self-centred. You are constantly told that you should be happy, that you can be anything you want to be, you deserve (whatever), there's someone out there perfect FOR YOU. This constant obsession with self-happiness is ironically the greatest source of unhappiness because we (or the other person) always fall short, never quite getting there, not meeting our expectations. Or if we are unlucky enough, we do get there (get something, find someone) and find out it isn't the fount of every blessing - to borrow a line from a popular hymn. And then what?

The answer is a well known cliche but one that we forget too easily. If we have the fruit of the Spirit, we know we have been blessed by grace and a perspective of gratitude should take centre stage in our lives. Being thankful is really the key.

If we are grateful, we remember and acknowledge all that He has blessed us with, even when we didn't know or asked for it. He loved us before we knew Him. He loved us though we didn't deserve it. And in return, He asks that we love others. And yes, the thought that there are others who don't deserve it crossed my mind but that is precisely why we can't help ourselves and will always fall short. An other-centric life (or at least one that isn't self-obsessed) is key.

We should love as He loved us and be joyful because of that. And then have peace because we realise that is what really matters. Which reminds me of a Timothy Keller sermon about Christmas. Each year at Christmas time, we hear the usual greetings about peace and joy and don't even really think about what it means. Keller said it wasn't about peace on earth (the other well-worn Christmas cliche) because (and I am paraphrasing here because well it's my memory which isn't so good anymore) if we understand human nature and how we are all sinners, we know it isn't really possible.

So beauty contestants need to be docked points for asking for "world peace". They are better off with Sandra Bullock's original answer in Miss Congeniality which is "enhanced punishment for parole offenders" :)

Keller points us to the real peace. The peace that comes from knowing God. Peace that lays to rest our longing for meaningless striving and achievement, though a single-digit golf handicap would be nice. Or for fleeting happiness, like a thing that we think would make us happy forever. Knowing God and how He loves and watches over us puts all things in perspective - and instructs us how to live our lives and it will come naturally (almost).

That is why we need to keep close to Him and reading His word, to remind ourselves because our sinful nature wants to forget, wants a distraction, wants happiness NOW. I need to keep focus and disciplined. That's my battle.