The Believer’s Freedom
23 “I have the right to do anything,” you say—but not everything is beneficial. “I have the right to do anything”—but not everything is constructive. 24 No one should seek their own good, but the good of others."
This was something in the Wesley series that made me stop to reflect. The two verses are I believe, meant to be looked at from the perspective of believers who are freed from the law that Christ has fulfilled. Paul tells us of this new freedom and how we ought to treat this new responsibility. Sounds like an oxymoron doesn't it? Surely freedom is most often associated with the modern idea that you answer to no one, are not accountable to anyone, and have no responsibility for anyone or anything except your own happiness.
And yet this unencumbered pursuit of individual happiness does not seem to make people happier. It seems to me all the freedoms that liberal societies cherish so much have resulted in greater division, intolerance, and hostility. If the idea of freedom centred on individual rights isn't the answer, what then should this 'freedom' be?
The verses above provide the answer, or at least a guide. It debunks our modern interpretations about individual freedoms and rights, because these centre on the self. Verse 24 says no one is to seek their own good. A clever rebuttal to that might be a quote often misattributed to Voltaire but which comes from Evelyn Beatrice Hall: "I disapprove of what you say, but I will defend to the death your right to say it." Which suggests that this is some kind of universal human right that people will fight for while disregarding their personal opposition to the opinion being expressed.
Sounds well and good in theory. In practice, where has this gotten us? Despite what liberal societies keep trying to tell us, the experiment is still in play and remains far from settled. We disagree far more violently than before. The solution?
Verse 24 continues. "...but the good of others." God in His infinite wisdom, tells us the key is to look outside of ourselves. It just occurred to me that focusing on individual rights is largely an exercise in loss aversion or FOMO. Social media does that beautifully today. We don't want to miss out, so we fight for our right to explore anything that might be the key to happiness. Love is one of the main things, or the main thing that people look for.
God created man, and gave him a companion. We are meant to love. I just read somewhere a wonderful explanation about the Trinity and how that explains the origins of love - that it could not exist if God didn't love anyone or anything before creating man. We are meant, designed to give love.
But today it's all backwards. People are told there is a perfect soulmate for them out there, that they should not settle, that they can have it all. So they go out there thinking there is someone out there who will make them happy, and all they need to do is find this perfect match.
A good corollary of this is a recent social media clip I saw in which someone (purportedly a lawyer) cite the statistic that more than 70 percent of marriages end in divorce, and therefore the decision to get married is 'negligent'. Of course this is one of those clips meant to provoke, and tries to be clever in creating a punchline to get eyeballs. It was shared by a friend and for some reason, it really got me thinking hard and somehow got me going. This is what I wrote.
"It's a misleading argument using just one statistic without context. It only makes sense if you think about it in purely financial terms. Then that's what pre-nups are for. But in my view, that's not a real relationship founded on love.
If the argument then is about relationships and the likelihood of breaking up, then the whole universe of relationships must be considered, including all couples that didn't get married. And in extremis, you must include all dating couples as well. The stat would then make even grimmer reading.
Then clearly the conclusion must be, don't get involved with anyone at all. Because the odds are against it.
Which makes no sense. Love isn't about stats. You don't go into a relationship thinking about the odds. If you do, then you're a cold calculating person who isn't looking for love, but self gratification."
As I finish writing this tonight, it seems quite timely. Tomorrow it would be 40 years since I met the woman I fell in love with, who has given me everything of real value in my life, the most important of which are God, and you boys.
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