Accepting fruitlessness?

This short section in Keller’s book really got me thinking, not just about my own career, but also some of the people who have asked me to coach them.

If you recall, the section talked about the play ‘Amadeus’ in which the main theme was how the composer Salieri envied Mozart’s gift and despaired that he would ever reach the same heights. The question was whether we should give up something just because it does not meet our highest aspirations.

There have been times when I found myself frustrated at work because I felt people were doing things to advance their careers, rather than for the good of the organisation and our mission to serve the public. I would try to encourage them to understand the way I thought about an issue, to nudge them to understand there could be a better way. When that failed, I would feel a mix of emotions. Anger sometimes, that they were not doing the right thing, not serving the public. Despair at other times, when I felt that I had failed because I did not have the courage of my convictions and did not push hard enough to make my point. Which also leads to regret and guilt, that I could have and should have done better.

In a way that is analogous to Salieri’s despair. Could someone else have done a better job than me? Probably. Definitely. But that way of thinking isn’t very productive, at least not at this point in my career. What else could I have done? And there’s no guarantee I would be better at it than this job, or any of the others I had done.

We are where we are (and need to remember that it's His plan), and the only surefire way to ensure we bring Him glory is to love people. That includes gently (sometimes a bit more forcefully if needed, but never with malice) teaching and mentoring others. That includes making people the object of our work. Not ourselves. If we love our work only because of the satisfaction it gives us, that is fickle. Because there is no perfect job. Remember I said all jobs are a series of tasks? Some we enjoy, some less so. And there will be days when the less enjoyable tasks are all that we do. What then?

And in that same vein, if we are consumed by our work for whatever reason (self, money, prestige...), then we have lost the purpose of work that God intended for us. And that purpose, no matter the vocation, is to love others.

And so I look forward to my next vocation, to coach full time. There, the link to what I said about God's purpose for our vocations, is much clearer. And in a sense, I had been aware of this for quite a while. I had asked to be posted to Training for a long time but my request went unheeded. God had a different plan for me, and I got to be trained as a coach which is sort of the same thing - I am basically a personal trainer (of the mind! No weights needed)

This calling in a sense, has been with me for a long time. The way I have always worked is to coach and learn something myself. So when someone sends me a paper to edit/approve, I would add comments and ask questions, rather than just edit and reply. Some appreciated it, but others did not - perhaps they found me trying!

And I occasionally get reminders of this when someone I used to work with in the past, would recall something that I had said, that resonated with them and which they still remember to this day. Most of the time I don't even recall what I said!!! But I am guessing that I must have been moved by the Spirit even way back then.