Expectations and feelings

Continuing the train of thought about ‘fruitlessness’…

People seem to be more unhappy these days because they are constantly told how wonderful they are, how they can be anything they want to be, and so by implication most of the time, whatever job they are doing at the moment is unworthy, is beneath them.

Or even if they do not think that, it’s not something they are invested in. It is merely a means to an end. A good income so that they can pursue leisure. FOMO is a huge motivator these days.

Or they convince themselves that they like the job because they feel good about their job, or parts of it. Feelings are importantly but feelings are often fleeting, shallow and in pandering to them, we lose an opportunity. What do I mean? Well the tendency these days is to cancel, to avoid what’s causing these feelings because they hurt our feelings, and thus losing the opportunity to engage, to find greater common ground.

So at work, if we don’t engage, everyone loses. I’ve had recent encounters where I ask questions and seek clarification. Instead of engaging, the response is to double down, have an excuse/explanation, or both. I wonder if it’s just me, that my way of seeking clarity rub people the wrong way. Or maybe I’m just wrong but they’re too polite to tell me.

Coming back full circle to fruitlessness at work. The constant emphasis on the positive is a trap. As more and more questions remain unanswered, the circle of what provides satisfaction in one’s vocation shrinks more and more.

Fruitfulness at work is not about achievements, whether personal or collective. It's about being engaged. If you are not engaged, even good outcomes feel hollow and empty.  Conversely, if you are engaged, even bad outcomes can be a source of encouragement. It is however challenging to say this in today's environment, where negative things are frowned on.

Yes, it has been tough recently. I try to tiptoe around the subject but it is really challenging to do so about things like basic competence. So I am really trying to engage but I am not getting through. I am looking forward to working with people who are more receptive. Hopefully. I will find out more next week when I am home and have a chat with the team that is looking at my post-retirement job.