I volunteer to drive my kids to school in the mornings because it's a chance to chat with them. Of course sometimes it doesn't work out that way with this sleep-deprived generation. Then they use the ride to catch up on sleep. Which happens a lot. But when we do chat, you can never tell how the conversation goes. One golden rule. Do not use the worst opening line ever, "So how's school?"
"OK."
There endeth the conversation.
But sometimes, the conversation takes an interesting turn and you learn something about your kids, and if you're lucky, you might even learn something else.
So one day I'm in my car with one of my sons (no he's not the prodigal son) and I asked him what he did in church recently. He is in the youth ministry and he said they discussed the parable of the prodigal son in Luke 15:11-32. As we chatted, I took the opportunity to share my own take on it and it was good because in the course of our conversation, I got a new insight.
I've read these verses quite a few times and my understanding and appreciation of it has grown over time. But there's something about it that always bugs me.
Why is it that each time I read this passage, my initial reaction is always that yes, it seems unfair?
The Parable of the Lost Son
11 Jesus continued: “There was a man who had two sons. 12 The younger one said to his father, ‘Father, give me my share of the estate.’ So he divided his property between them.
13 “Not long after that, the younger son got together all he had, set off for a distant country and there squandered his wealth in wild living. 14 After he had spent everything, there was a severe famine in that whole country, and he began to be in need. 15 So he went and hired himself out to a citizen of that country, who sent him to his fields to feed pigs. 16 He longed to fill his stomach with the pods that the pigs were eating, but no one gave him anything.
17 “When he came to his senses, he said, ‘How many of my father’s hired servants have food to spare, and here I am starving to death! 18 I will set out and go back to my father and say to him: Father, I have sinned against heaven and against you. 19 I am no longer worthy to be called your son; make me like one of your hired servants.’ 20 So he got up and went to his father.
“But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and was filled with compassion for him; he ran to his son, threw his arms around him and kissed him.
21 “The son said to him, ‘Father, I have sinned against heaven and against you. I am no longer worthy to be called your son.’
22 “But the father said to his servants, ‘Quick! Bring the best robe and put it on him. Put a ring on his finger and sandals on his feet. 23 Bring the fattened calf and kill it. Let’s have a feast and celebrate. 24 For this son of mine was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found.’ So they began to celebrate.
25 “Meanwhile, the older son was in the field. When he came near the house, he heard music and dancing. 26 So he called one of the servants and asked him what was going on. 27 ‘Your brother has come,’ he replied, ‘and your father has killed the fattened calf because he has him back safe and sound.’
28 “The older brother became angry and refused to go in. So his father went out and pleaded with him. 29 But he answered his father, ‘Look! All these years I’ve been slaving for you and never disobeyed your orders. Yet you never gave me even a young goat so I could celebrate with my friends. 30 But when this son of yours who has squandered your property with prostitutes comes home, you kill the fattened calf for him!’
31 “‘My son,’ the father said, ‘you are always with me, and everything I have is yours. 32 But we had to celebrate and be glad, because this brother of yours was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found.’”
As I discussed this with my son, I started to understand that the sense of "unfairness" stems from the perspective through which I viewed the story. It is easy, and almost natural to take the perspective of the older son - the "good" son. It seems manifestly unfair that the father appears to overlook the elder son's obedience, all his good work. It is disturbing because of what it means for all the "good" I have done. Most of us like to think of ourselves as good, even though we constantly fall short. It is why we judge so easily. We see bad behavior and go, "Why, we would never do that!"
We may forget that we have done the same or something similar before, or rationalize it away that it isn't quite the same thing (different circumstances), or that our "good" outweighs the "little" sins or mistakes we have made in our lives. We want to feel good about ourselves. Nothing wrong with that. But as the saying goes, "Do not judge others because they sin differently than you."
Are we really different? Have we squandered gifts as the prodigal son did? Most certainly. Gifts of time, love, compassion, forgiveness...
If we now take the perspective of the prodigal son, we are reminded of our own frailties and imperfections, and how we have often been lucky or benefited from the generosity of others. But we would still have a tendency to think that we are not so bad, that we have done lots of good things. We do like to bargain...
What is this "good" we do or have done? Sometimes we do these things because it is expected of us or out of reciprocity, or that we hope it is reciprocated. Sometimes we do them because we want to feel good about ourselves, and that is dangerous because the flip side of it is always that anyone who fails to live up to "our" standards is not as good, or "Why can't you be like me?" Which is sort of the direct cousin of "Why, I would never do that!"
But there are some things we would almost all agree on as good, and these are the things we do out of love.
The best perspective then, is that of the father. He loves unconditionally. And we are called to follow this example, to become more Christ-like in our walk.
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Beautiful piece of art at this link : http://kristivaliant.blogspot.com/2012/05/prodigal-son-best-of-show.html
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